5 Reasons an Adoptive Family Might Change Their Minds about Adoption in Nevada

Going through the adoption process has its share of highs and lows for birth parents and adoptive parents alike. Both can experience a sense of relief and hope for a new beginning once they are matched with each other; however, they can also experience uncertainty and anxiety about any disruptions that may occur. For prospective adoptive parents, a common fear is that the birth mother will change her mind about following through with the adoption. But what if the adoptive parents change their minds about adopting the baby? 

As a birth mother, it can be devastating to choose an adoptive family only for them to decide not to adopt your baby. Your feelings of hurt are completely valid, but keep in mind that there are a wide variety of reasons why adoptive parents make the decision not to adopt the baby. Adoption Choices of Nevada provides you with this overview of some of these reasons to help you better detect potential signs that the adoption might not work out. The better prepared you are to face this, the easier it will be for you to accept the situation and move on to find the couple or individual who will raise your child. 

1. Adoptive Families in Nevada Facing Financial Issues

The stress that financial instability causes can give anyone reason to reevaluate if they want to start or expand their family, including those considering adoption. It may even be a reason why you are putting up your baby for adoption. Make sure that when you are in the process of selecting an adoptive family that they are open and transparent with you about their financial situation. You want to be reassured that they will be able to commit to providing your child with the future that you envisioned for him or her.

2. Considering Placing a Baby for Adoption with a Couple Facing Relationship Problems

While no relationship is perfect, it’s prudent to look out for clear signs indicating that the couple you are considering to adopt your baby is experiencing relationship issues. Like financial instability, relationship instability can put a couple in a position in which they are not yet ready to bring a newborn into their lives. As you evaluate the stability of their relationship, ask yourself the following:

• Do they fight in front of you or show any signs of contempt for each other?
• How long have they been together?
• Have they broken up before?
• Have they, or are they currently going through couples counseling?
• Do they communicate well with each other?
• Are they excited about working as a team to raise your baby?
• Are they both on the same page regarding the adoption?
• Do they seem authentic in their relationship? 
• Do you get the sense that they are pursuing adoption to save their relationship?
• Do they explicitly indicate intentions to break up?

Depending on how much contact you have with them, you might not be able to observe all of these and other indicators of their relationship stability in depth. That’s why you should directly ask them about such matters as you get to know them so that you can feel more confident that they are up to the task of happily raising your child together.  

3. Adoptive Parents in Nevada Facing Other Hardships 

In addition to facing financial or marital problems, a couple or individual seeking to adopt may suddenly experience a life-disrupting event that puts them in a bad position to raise a baby. For example, they might be stricken by illness or get in an accident that leaves them physically disabled. Perhaps they lose their home or car and face unexpected expenses. One of the partners may pass away, or they might lose a child or other close family member. It’s also possible that the child you carry is diagnosed with a condition that requires special care that the adoptive family is not equipped to accommodate. In these times, they might need space and time to grieve and recover before they feel ready to be parents. 

4. Placing a Baby for Adoption with a Couple Still Trying to Get Pregnant 

Many couples seeking to adopt have already tried to become pregnant naturally or through the assistance of IVF. While they are thrilled to give another child a chance at living a happy life, many would ideally have their own biological children. If you encounter a couple who is still making attempts to become pregnant or still pursuing IVF treatments, it’s possible that they may actually become pregnant and decide not to follow through with the adoption.   

5. Giving Up a Baby for Adoption to Doubtful Adoptive Parents

Even if a couple or individual sincerely thought that they wanted to adopt a child, they may come to the conclusion that they are simply not ready to be parents. Going through the adoption process might make everything suddenly very real for them, which can trigger feelings of doubt. It’s also possible that they don’t have the support of friends or family, which can also cause them to doubt their decision. Perhaps their doubts come from several failed attempts at adoption, leading them to question their worth or to struggle to trust a birth mother to follow through with the adoption. In any case, it’s important to be compassionate toward them since they are on their own adoption journeys that consist of their own unique challenges. 

How Will You Continue Your Adoption Journey if the Adoptive Parents Change Their Minds?

Even though it’s truly disappointing and heartbreaking if the adoptive family you chose decides not to adopt your baby, remember that nobody is at fault. You should not feel ashamed, guilty, or inadequate because the adoption didn’t work out. At Adoption Choices of Nevada, we are eager to help you find other wonderful couples or individuals who could raise the child you carry. We will always be there for you no matter where you are in your adoption journey. 

Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can also call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-738-4673 (Elko) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).

Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati. 

Mary is passionate about empowering and supporting those involved in the adoption and surrogacy processes. She finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.