With Mother’s Day right around the corner, it is the perfect time to think about what makes a mother. Is it just being a parent? Just giving birth? That is debated by others. But at Adoption Choices of Nevada, we think that every woman who walks through our door is a mother. Be that birth mothers or adoptive mothers. Both are mothers in our eyes because they play a huge part in the adoption process.
What are the traits of a mother, though? What does it take to be a mother? What are the traits that every mother needs most?
Love is the highest trait on this list because it is the trait that makes a mother. Why is that? Shouldn’t every mother love their child? Well, yes, every mother should love their child unconditionally; yet, there is an unfortunate stigma that a birth mother couldn’t possibly love the child they are placing for adoption. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
A birth mother loves her child so much that she wants him or her to have opportunities that she is unable to provide. The amount of love needed to determine this is something that can’t be measured. Making the choice to place a child for adoption is one of the hardest choices a mother can make, but it is one that is made out of love.
Love also speaks to every adoptive mother out there. The child(ren) she adopts is hers. No matter what. Different race, skin tone, culture – it doesn’t matter. A mother’s love knows no bounds, after all. She creates a special bond between her and her child that lasts a lifetime. DNA doesn’t make a family. Love does.
It is really hard to be patient when it’s crunch time and you needed to be out the door five minutes ago. Trust us. We know that patience is a virtue! However, this trait is second on our list because, as a mother, your patience is going to be tested. There will be good and bad days. Ups and downs.
You are going to practice this trait more than you think. From the constant questions of why to your child testing your boundaries. Remember, though, your son or daughter is learning about the world and what they can and can’t get away with. Having patience will help both of you navigate through these times.
Whenever you lose your patience – it’s ok. It will happen every now and again. Remember to breathe. Take a deep breath in and slowly let it go. Then, take on our next trait.
Learn to forgive your child for his or her mistakes and you with yours. Did your child break something you love? Did he or she make a mess that makes it seem like the world is ending? Did they push that boundary a little too far?
Remember, this is all natural. It is an essential part of your child growing up and learning right from wrong. It is hard to develop and mature without making mistakes in life. But the silver lining is that your child will learn and become stronger for it.
Don’t be afraid to teach your child forgiveness. If you make a mistake and know you are in the wrong, then teach them that a mistake isn’t the end of the world. Ask for forgiveness. This is a good developmental moment. It is teaching your child that mistakes don’t mean all love ends and that, while being upset happens, love is still there.
A Role Model
This trait probably isn’t the first thing you think of when you think of traits. At first, we didn’t either, but it makes sense that it is on our list.
You are the first person your baby is going to really know. This means that, with all the time you get to spend with your baby, you are going to be their first role model. Children are like sponges and will copy your behaviors and patterns. You are going to be the one teaching your child right versus wrong. By setting a good example for how to handle the world, you are showing him or her that with a little patience and love they can conquer anything.
You are your child’s first teacher. This means you have to teach him or her how to be patient and loving, how to forgive when upset, and how to mess up.
Your child needs boundaries and structure. He or she needs to learn to respect you and see you as an authoritative figure. Thus, it’s important for you to establish healthy boundaries and enforce them accordingly.
Make sure you are consistent with what you are saying. That the rules don’t change from child to child. This will not only help you keep everything organized, but also keep everything consistent between siblings.
Boundaries help keep your children safe – even if they don’t see it this way. They will test you, which will require more patience and appropriate discipline. Yet, explaining why boundaries are in the place will help your child understand and respect your authority more.
Traits of a Mother
There are many traits of a mother out there. Far more than those we have listed here. Each one makes a mother unique to her child. This means you are going to learn how to be the best mother through your own mistakes. Maybe something you read in a book doesn’t work with your child. It is going to be a learning experience for both of you. No matter what, though, you are going to do this mother thing well.
Adoption Choices of Nevada
Adoption Choices, Inc. is a private, non-profit adoption agency licensed by the state and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive parents since 2002. Our staff has a genuine commitment to providing an empathetic, empowering, and progressive experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Tia Kitchens is a college graduate with a B.S in Psychology from Capella University who has always had a passion for three things: animals, writing, and mac ‘n cheese. Two of these three are things she has based her work around. Animals are a big impact on her life due to her love for helping others through difficult situations. Through her studies, she has found the human-animal bond is strong enough to help others. This, paired with her writing, helps her record her findings and teach others through her words.
She is excited to join Adoption Choices as an Editorial Intern because she’s wanted to adopt since she was little, and is excited to learn about the industry and the adoption journey.
Her goal is to make a change in the world with her words and end up on someone’s inspiration Pinterest board! Being a key quote on someone’s Pinterest board it shows her words have a huge impact on people. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but if that picture is just words it surely means more that way! To learn more about her, follow her on Twitter and Instagram!
Garcia, Nina. “The Top 8 Qualities of a Mom.” Sleeping Should Be Easy, 15 Feb. 2020, sleepingshouldbeeasy.com/qualities-of-a-good-mother/.
Julie. “What Are The Qualities Of A Good Mother?” Mummy It’s OK, 10 Dec. 2018, mummyitsok.com/blog/what-are-the-qualities-of-a-good-mother/.