When going through the process to adopt a baby, there are plenty of milestones to get through before being matched with birth parents, but the hardest and likely the most stressful part will be waiting to be matched. You want to be parents so bad that it may seem like an eternity waiting for it to happen. While the process isn’t a short one, there are things that you can do with your adoptive family profile in order to potentially be matched sooner.
Of course, every case and birth mother and father is different. Not all birth parents are right for you just as you likely won’t be a candidate for every birth mother due to different beliefs, backgrounds, or living situations. It’s important to recognize that and accept that not every birth mother that you choose is going to choose you. In order to have a successful post-adoption relationship, you don’t want to be matched with every single birth mother anyway.
Let’s take a look at a few things that you can do with your adoptive family profile in order to set you up for success and make your dream of adopting come true as quickly as possible.
Don’t Try to Be Everything to Everyone
Like we just mentioned, you’re not going to be the right family for every birth mother. There are so many people in the world with different beliefs, values, and different things are very important to different people. Your profile should be sincere and highlight your values, beliefs, and views. You’re much more likely to be matched with a birth mother that shares your beliefs than with one that doesn’t truly know what matters most to you.
Birth mothers want to know that their child will be raised the way that they envision them being raised and by people with similar values to their own. Be honest, be open, and own your beliefs.
Use Pictures Well
While the saying may go, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, birth mothers will undoubtedly judge your pictures first. It will take effort for the birth mother to read your adoption letter, learn more about your family, and even keep up with your blog (we’ll cover that shortly), but it will take just seconds for them to judge your pictures. There are several do’s and don’ts when it comes to your photos.
DO: Use an attention grabbing photo as your primary photo. If your primary photo doesn’t immediately grab attention, the birth mother may never get to your other ones. It’s vitally important that your primary picture show character and personality and make the birth mother want to learn and see more.
DON’T: Only focus on your appearance. The best clothes and perfect hair aren’t going to be what sets you apart – this isn’t a prom photo. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should take a selfie right out of bed either, but showing off your personality with where your photos are taken, what you’re doing, and who you’re with will have a bigger impact than your perfect hair. If you’re a little goofy, be a little goofy in your pictures. If you’re an outdoorsy family, show off photos outdoors. Whoever you are, show it.
DO: Use a variety of photos. A handful of the same photos at different angles isn’t exciting to look at. Give the birth mother some variety so that she can start to envision what your family looks like and how you interact.
DON’T: Be boring. Boring is one of the worst things that can be said about an adoption profile. Think outside the box a little with your photos and have them tell the story of you and your family.
Your Adoption Letter is NOT a Resume
Your adoption letter is not a job application or resume. It should be treated as more of a story while incorporating the things that would make you great parents for their child. No one likes to read a bulleted list of qualifications. Tell an interesting story about your family and let your qualifications come out in the content of the story. You’ll get a much better reaction and keep a birth mother’s attention much longer doing this than providing a resume-esque adoption letter.
Create a Blog
While blogging or writing in general are not things that everyone likes to do, it is something that can really give birth parents a better insight into you, your life, your interests, and your family. The better idea you can give a birth mother and father about who you are and how you live your life, the better chance you’ll have that they will choose you. Keep your blog up to date by adding to it regularly and even get others in your immediate family to help contribute.
Don’t forget to include images and videos as well!
One of the hardest things that any of us ever have to do is write about ourselves. It’s very hard to do and will likely cause you to second guess it over and over again. While your adoption profile really isn’t (and shouldn’t be) done until after you’ve adopted, recruiting help can be very eye opening. We are not suggesting that you get someone else to write it for you (don’t do that!), but even just talking with close friends and family will likely give you ideas of attributes and characteristics of you and your family that you should be writing about. We all see ourselves differently than the world sees us and for most of us, we’re our own worst critics. Getting an outside opinion or two will help you to start writing your adoption letter.
Like we mentioned, there is no perfect adoption profile. Each birth mother is going to be looking for different things in their adoptive family, but the key is to use your strengths and highlight your personality throughout. No one is perfect and birth mothers aren’t looking for a perfect family – they’re looking for the right family. Be yourself, have fun with it, and share your beliefs and you’ll be a parent sooner rather than later.
If you’re ready to really begin the process of adopting, we encourage you to check out the resources and application below!