By Connor Shelton

Google the word adoption, and you’ll find that there are millions of search results. While much of what’s out there is informative and beneficial for birth mothers, there’s still misinformation floating around the web. So the question is “why does adoption carry so much stigma?“

Due to various myths and misconceptions, the term “adoption” carries a certain stigma that refuses to go away. There’s a chance you might believe these stigmas to be true. If that’s the case, we hope you have an open mind because our goal is to help eliminate those stigmas. We want to make you comfortable with adoption in Nevada as you work through your unexpected pregnancy. With that in mind, at Adoption Choices of Nevada, we are here to show you the most prevalent ideas about adoption that simply aren’t true.

Stigma #1: Adoption is a means for women to give away their children.

We’re always trying to correct this when people seek our services. You’re not giving away your child or giving up on them. Instead, what you’re doing is making the ultimate sacrifice for your baby. You’re putting their needs above your own because you’re not currently capable of raising them. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything, the people who suggest that birth mothers are heartless because of this decision are the ones showing their callousness. The kind of misinformation and gaslighting they’ll put you through may hurt, but know that what you’re doing is wonderful. Your love for your child is incomparable.

Stigma #2: Open Adoptions are bad for children and confuse them

This comes from a misconception about what open adoption is. Many people think of it as co-parenting when it is something else entirely. Open adoption is when a birth mother has some sort of contact with the adoptive family, simple as that. The type of contact can vary from exchanging letters to phone calls to in-person visits. Regardless of how you communicate with the adoptive family and your child, it’s been proven that these interactions are beneficial for all parties. As per confusion, children typically don’t have an identity crisis about who to call mom. Their awareness of their birth mother allows them to be comfortable with their identity as an adopted child.

Stigma #3: Children need their “Real Parents” to raise them

In this scenario, people equate real with biological. But, of course, if one were to ask these people if it would be okay for a murderer to raise their biological child, they’d probably say no. That just shows you how little substance there is to this argument. It doesn’t matter whether a child’s parents are “real” or “fake” so long as they’re being shown love and kindness. And when you choose to adopt your child, they’ll be placed in a home brimming with those qualities.

Sigma #4: You must be irresponsible if you choose to place a baby up for adoption

This comes from an assumption that you got pregnant while fooling around with strangers. This isn’t always the case; even if it is, that doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible. You have every right as a woman to have relations with whoever you please, so long as there’s consent among both parties. And despite whatever precautions you or your partner might take, sometimes protection doesn’t work. But enough about speculation. The myth of birth mothers being irresponsible can be disproven by the act of adoption itself. The fact that you’re choosing to place a baby up for adoption when you know you can’t raise them is a great sign of responsibility. It shows that you care for your child, which is the most important thing.

Stigma #5: You don’t deserve to be a mother if you give a child up for adoption

There are many reasons why you might be giving a child up for adoption in Reno or elsewhere in Nevada. Perhaps you don’t have the financial means to raise them. Perhaps the birth father is abusive. Maybe now is not the right time. Regardless of why you’re choosing adoption, know that it does not disqualify you from being a mother in the future. As already mentioned, your action is made with love, meaning you are more than capable of raising a child whenever you are ready to do so. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Stigma #6: You’re a selfish person if you choose to place a child up for adoption.

This line of thinking posits that you’re giving up your child because they’ll way you down. As already discussed, this is simply not the case. What you’re doing is not selfish but selfless. Sure, raising a child at this time might be a hindrance to your life and goals, but it’s not the only reason you’re choosing adoption. It could be for any of the reasons we’ve already listed, none of which makes you selfish.

Overcoming the Stigmas of Adoption in Nevada

Knowing how these stigmas can plague your perception of adoption, we as a society must address them. This can be tough to do, considering how ingrained these views on adoption are, yet it’s possible to alter people’s minds. It’s possible to diminish these stigmas and make Nevada adoption easier for birth mothers. 

To eliminate adoption stigmas, we need to make people understand the reality of the process. For this to work, there must be more open conversations about adoption. You need to speak up, explain how it all works, and start a discourse with your loved ones (as long as you’re comfortable doing so). You can talk about how adoption has helped you as a birth mother, even touching on the topic of mental health. These conversations are crucial to breaking down the stigmas that surround adoption. They’re crucial in giving you the ability to say with confidence, “I want to put my child up for adoption.”

If you’re a woman looking to place a baby for adoption without any judgment, you’ve come to the right place. Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).