BM Blog

By Adoption Choices of Nevada

Adoption Guilt: Will I feel guilty if I place my baby up for adoption?

By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa

That feeling of guilt you feel towards the adoption process, with time, will become accepted—acceptance towards the fact that your birth child would have a better life once they’ve been adopted. Pushing your feelings to the side and trying to get over them will turn against you. Having a guilty conscience isn’t a bad thing. It means you still care. It shows that you weren’t giving up on your child but placing them in a loving home. 

At Adoption Choices of Nevada, we’ll go over the different emotions you can feel. While breaking down why you feel those emotions. Having emotions towards a decision you made isn’t uncommon. Our counselors are here to help you heal. You don’t have to feel like you’re alone in this. We’re here to help. 

What are some emotions other than the guilt I can go through after placing my child up for adoption?

Common emotions other than guilt that birth mothers go through are:

  • Regret
  • Sadness
  • Fear 
  • Denial 

Why am I experiencing these different emotions after placing my child up for adoption?

Now that the adoption process is over, you’re questioning your decision. You’re asking questions like: Did I do the right thing? Is it too late to change my mind? All the questions are natural. You just went through something you can’t go back and reverse. Once you’ve placed a child up for adoption, you can’t change your mind and get them back. 

Another emotion birth mothers go through is sadness. Once you’ve given birth, you’re given the option to have “skin to skin” contact. During this, you hold the baby on your chest. So they could hear your heartbeat and recognize where they’ve heard it from. This is done to gain an automatic connection with the child. But because you placed them up for adoption. You miss that “skin to skin” contact you gained after birth. 

Birth mothers sometimes feel fear. They fear what their birth child might think of them. This is a natural response. You’ve placed a child up for adoption and heard the misconception of “giving up a child for adoption.” So, you fear what the birth child will think of you. Fearing the unknown is a natural response. But, you won’t know what they think until they grow up. So, all you can do is wait and hope they don’t feel ill will towards you. 

Finally, some birth mothers go into denial. They placed their birth child up for adoption because it was an unplanned pregnancy. They didn’t plan on becoming pregnant. But carried the baby full-term. If they think about the adoption process for too long, it might make them feel unwanted emotions. 

How do birth mothers cope with adoption guilt and post-adoption in Nevada

If you’re looking for an adoption agency to share your worries. You can look up an Adoption agency near me to find an adoption agency right for you. Depending on where in Nevada you’re located, there’s a location in both the Reno Adoption Agency and Vegas Adoption.

After going over the different emotions, you can experience. You’re wondering how you can take your mind off of it. You want to become at peace with your decision. So, you ask your adoption agency of choice where you can go. 

To get your mind off of the guilt, you feel after you’ve gone through the Vegas Adoption. You can try to:

  • Figure out why you’re feeling guilty about the adoption process
  • Talk to someone about how you’re feeling 
  • Find peace in your decision 

Is it common to feel guilty about placing a child up for adoption?

Feeling guilty for placing a child up for adoption is common. You’re worried the birth child will feel ill towards you for placing them up for adoption. But, depending on the adoption plan, you can reassure them. Reassure them they were placed up for adoption because you weren’t ready to become a full-time parent. Even though they were placed up for adoption, you’ll still be a part of their lives. At the Adoption Choices of Nevada, our counselors are here to listen to your worries and reassure you. What you’re feeling is common towards birth mothers who place their child up for adoption. 

Guilt is an emotion that comes out of nowhere. Your job as a birth mother is to combat that guilt. Make sure you’re at peace with your decision to place your child up for adoption. Once you’ve placed a child up for adoption, no matter the guilt of your decision. You can’t change your mind. So, to come at peace with that. Be at peace with your decision. 

Don’t feel bad that you’re feeling guilty about placing a child up for adoption. Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).