All About Birth Mothers
By Mitchell Kennis
When you are pregnant and considering adoption, it can be overwhelming trying to understand where you fit into the process. So let’s clear up what it means to be a “birth mother” and what adoption is and isn’t.
When thinking of adoption, your mind might conjure up a collection of images and ideas from movies or other media. It is important we start by sorting through which of these conceptions are true and which are fictional.
The first thing to know is every adoption is unique, even if most follow a similar process. Adoptions are most often handled through an adoption agency that works with the expectant woman or birth mother. The expectant mother will decide on a birth plan as well as which family and type of adoption she would like her child to be a part of. These decisions form the individualized adoption plan ideal for a successful transfer of the baby from the birth mother to the adopted parents.
While we are using birth mother and expectant mother to mostly mean the same person, there is technically a difference. While an expectant mother is just a woman who is pregnant, a birth mother has given birth and chosen adoption. If you are considering a baby adoption in Reno.
Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012.
The Whys and Whos of Adoption
Thinking adoption might be an option for you? It likely is! But we’ll go over why birth mothers choose adoption and who they are to choose it.
One of the main reasons women decide to adopt has to do with the circumstances of their pregnancy. Circumstances can change the tone of a pregnancy to it being unplanned or unwanted. Consider you are in a low-income household when you discover suddenly there will be another mouth to feed soon. This might change how it feels to have a child from a blessing to a burden. Or maybe you learn you are pregnant just before you are to begin a new career or semester of schooling. Parenting already takes 100% of one’s effort, so the idea of adding work or studying to it is understandably unreasonable.
Expectant women do not choose adoption because there aren’t any other options. Most often, they wish the best for their child without the means of providing the best for them. Adoption was then chosen as the superior alternative between parenting and abortion.
These circumstances need not be so evident, however. Perhaps you are in a stable home with plenty of spare time and a caring partner. It can seem like this is the perfect place for a child to be born and raised. But you aren’t wrong to still feel unprepared to be a parent. Your feelings take priority in such a decision, so even if everything seems perfect, you can still choose adoption.
This is to say there isn’t anything particular determining whether one parent keeps a child when another places theirs for adoption. At the end of the day, you, the birth mother, are the one who makes the call. And another woman in your exact same situation might decide on something different.
Some True Things to Know About Adoption
For a practice as long-lived as adoption, it is really no wonder there are so many misleading facts about it. Clearing up these details on adoption should make the process more straightforward for you as a prospective birth mother adoptee.
1. Adoption Does Not Mean Saying Goodbye Forever
It is thought that adopting your child to another family makes it, so you’re out of their life for good. This idea is not completely false, but it doesn’t have to be the case. When you make an adoption plan, you get to decide on your communication level with your child. What this means is you determine if your adoption will be open or closed, involved or uncontacted. There may be some decisions made together with the adopted family, but essentially adoption doesn’t have to be goodbye.
2. Adoption Does Not Mean Giving Up
Another misconception is that adoption means you are “giving up” your child. Why “giving a baby up for adoption” is searched more often than “choosing adoption for my baby” lies in social expectations. Since America was America, the nuclear family placed an expectation on women to produce children and raise them “properly.” Through years of slow change in our society, this family-building pressure has faded out of the norm. However, language has a way of sticking to its roots, and often the old terminology of adoption is used accidentally.
But some people might even still believe that a woman is being selfish when they choose adoption. That simply isn’t the case. It takes courage to pick adoption. It is difficult, to be honest, enough to do so, and you should be commended instead of chastised. Adoption doesn’t mean giving up. It means choosing life and love and family.
3. We Offer You Adoption Support
You are reading next to a tab opened for baby adoption in Reno. The blue light shines in an otherwise empty room. It is very easy to slip into a mindset that you are alone in this process. Know that you are not. Even if there aren’t many people backing you up right now, Adoption Choices of Nevada is here for you.
To All Birth Mothers
Whether you are recently pregnant or expecting within a few days, adoption is still an option for you. Know that you are strong and capable, and adoption doesn’t change that. The only thing adoption changes are technically making you a birth mother. So to you and all birth mothers, Adoption Choices of Nevada would like to say congratulations. Contact our adoption centers in Reno or Las Vegas, and we’ll be happy to help you at whichever step of your pregnancy you’re at.
Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).