Placement is an exciting time for you as an adoptive parent. Being able to hold your baby for the first time is a very special moment. As the adoptive parent, your gratitude for the gift that they are giving you is overwhelming. There are no words or gifts that could ever showcase your love and admiration for their strength.
However, placement is extremely difficult for birth parents. It is emotional and a time where they must deal with a lot of anxiety and concern. While you are celebrating and welcoming a new member to your family, they are grieving the opposite. It’s important to be respectful of this time for them. Even though a gift will not ease their feelings or take away their pain, it will show them that you are thinking about them during this time. They will see that you are empathetic and grieving with them. It’s not the gift itself that matters, it’s the gesture.
Birth Father Gifts
Here is a short list of perfect birth father gifts for after placement:
- Personally Engraved Watch: Watches are a timeless gift. They are practical gifts that never go out of style. Giving your child’s birth father a watch is a nice way to show appreciation and to make it extra special you can have it engraved. Engrave the watch with the birth date of their baby or the baby’s name. He can wear the watch everyday and feel his baby close to his heart. Fossil is a brand of reasonably priced and stylish watches that offers custom engraving on most of their products.
- Matching Keychains: Keychains are another simple and classic gift. The best part of keychains is that you can get personally engraved and matching keychains. This way your child and their birth father can each have a half to a whole. Similarly you can make it so that you, your child’s birth father and your child all have a keychain that reminds you of your unique family dynamic. You all complete the family picture.
- Framed Photo/Photo Album: On the day of placement you can take a picture of your child with their birth father and have it framed. Today we have all of our photos at our fingertips and printing out a picture may not seem like a big deal, but for your child’s birth father it is an extremely sweet and thoughtful gesture. You can have the frame engraved with the name of your child or their birth date for an added personal touch. Another option would be to take that photo and put it in an album that your child’s birth father can keep and add the pictures you send over the years. He can keep it somewhere special where he can go to look at them and be reminded of his baby.
- A Quilt or Keepsake Bear: Keepsake bears are stuffed animals that are made with old clothes for memory sake. You’ve likely seen quilts made out of old t-shirts or baby’s clothes and a keepsake bear is the same concept except a stuffed animal. Making a quilt or a quilt out of your baby’s first outfit or blanket is a really unique way to memorialize that moment for your child’s birth father.
- A Recordable Book: This gift is more so for your child than it is for your child’s birth father, however it is a special way for them to bond over the years. Hallmark and other retailers sell books that have a feature where you can record yourself reading the book. As you turn each page, your voice will be heard reading the lines of the story. You can purchase this book and have your child’s birth father read this story to your child. Even though he won’t take anything physical home with him, he will know that his child still has a connection to him. As your child grows, you can take videos or pictures of them reading this special book and send it to their birth father. He’ll know that even though he is not physically there, he is there in his own way.
Post Placement Gifts
Even though a teddy bear or a watch won’t change the situation, nor will it mend their hearts, showing your love and support for them during this time will reassure them of their decision. Your child’s birth parents are an important part of your adoption journey and it’s really important to remind them of your gratitude. They’re journey through post placement will be long and hard, just as your journey through parenthood will be. Small kindnesses, like special little gifts, can go a long way.
Adoption Choices of Nevada
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Devon Thornton is a graduate of the University of Central Florida with a Bachelor’s in Creative Writing. She has recently moved from Orlando, FL to Clarksville, TN, and is pursuing her writing career with Adoption Choices and also writing personal essays in her free time. Devon is an avid reader and a big Harry Potter fan.
When she’s not curled up reading a book, you can find her somewhere on a hike or a camping trip. She loves her cat, Minerva, and considers herself a true animal lover. She hopes one day to publish a book of essays and to maybe meet J.K. Rowling.
“13 Meaningful Ideas for Birth Parent Gifts.” American Adoptions Blog, 4 Aug. 2017, www.americanadoptions.com/blog/13-meaningful-ideas-for-birth-parent-gifts/.
Anderson, Kristin. “5 Perfect Gifts For Birth Parents – Adoption Products: Adoption Day Gifts for Child or Parents.” Adoption Products | Adoption Day Gifts for Child or Parents, Adoption Products | Adoption Day Gifts for Child or Parents, 30 Apr. 2019, adoptionproducts.com/5-perfect-gifts-birth-parents/.