Adoption in Reno, BM Blog

By Adoption Choices of Nevada

Celebrating Birth Mothers on National Birth Mother’s Day

By Isabelle Bryan

Almost everyone knows about mother’s day. On the second Sunday of May, children, spouses, and family members celebrate mothers and everything they do for their families. But a day so focused on children expressing their appreciation may be bittersweet to some birth mothers. You carried the baby and planned the adoption, but may feel left out during a traditional mother’s day. 

It is the goal of our adoption agencies to make sure birth mothers are informed and cared for. This includes helping you think of ideas for how to celebrate a day just for you—that is, birth mother’s day. On this national holiday, Adoption Choices of Nevada honors you. The women who have made one of the strongest and most loving choices imaginable. 

A Mother’s Day Celebration for Those Who Have Placed Their Child for Adoption

Every year, the second Saturday of May marks the national celebration of birth mothers. This year, Birth Mother’s Day falls on May 11. Every kind of birth mother is celebrated, without exceptions. Whether you wanted your child but could not keep them, experienced an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy, or were pressured into adoption. No matter what, this day is for you.

Placing a child for adoption takes an enormous amount of strength, love, and selflessness. You are putting your child’s best interests before your own desires, whatever they may be. Making an adoption plan can be a long, emotional, and mentally draining process. Taking the time to let yourself grieve and emotionally heal can be a struggle. Negative stereotypes surrounding adoption may foster or strengthen feelings of guilt. In short, the adoption process asks a great deal of birth mothers. Birth Mother’s Day is a day to take care of and celebrate yourself, or let yourself be celebrated by others.

How Birth Mother’s Day Came Out of a Closed Adoption

Birth mother’s day is a relatively new holiday, though no less important for it. It was first celebrated only a few decades ago, on May 12, 1990, in Seattle, Washington. First conceived by Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh and a group of birth mothers, it was meant as a day of solidarity. Wolch-Marsh had placed her own daughter for adoption 12 years prior. Post-adoption, she found herself a mother who was not seen or celebrated as a mother on mother’s day.

On the inaugural celebration of Birth Mother’s Day, Wolch-Marsh and her group of birth mothers connected through a shared experience. It was a day to honor their sacrifices, support their fellow birth mothers, and celebrate themselves when others did not. Today, it remains a day to honor and appreciate birth mothers and everything they have done for their children. It gives adoptive families and children alike the chance to celebrate the women who made their current life possible. Additionally, it has taken on the added goal of educating others about adoption and how it affects birth mothers.

Celebrating Birth Mother’s Day Post-Pregnancy

If you have never celebrated Birth Mother’s Day, you might not be sure where to begin. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Organize a celebration with other birth mothers. Maybe you have friends who placed their child for adoption, or perhaps you are part of a support group. Go out to brunch, have a picnic, plan a nice dinner. You could even set up a group video chat or phone call. Let each other know how much you appreciate and care for each other.
  • Write a letter to your child. Talk about your hopes for them, or even yourself. Share how much you love and miss them. Let yourself work through feelings of grief, guilt, or anger. You can keep this letter for yourself, or you can write something to actually give to your child.
  • Do something for yourself. Splurge on a treat—food, a manicure, a live event you’ve been looking forward to. Spend the day reading, relaxing, or watching guilty-pleasure movies. Take the time to engage in hobbies you’ve been neglecting. Pack a lunch and relax outdoors. There is no one right thing to do—just think of something that makes you happy.
  • Honor the original Birth Mother’s Day and share your story with others. Take to social media, write a blog post, talk to a family member or friend. Let other birth mothers know that they are not alone.
  • If you chose an open adoption, consider spending the day with your child and their adoptive family. Take the chance to further foster your relationship.

Why You Should Celebrate Birth Mother’s Day After Your Nevada Adoption

No matter how you want to celebrate, Birth Mother’s Day is your day. You can do as much or as little as you like. Of course, celebrating Birth Mother’s Day may not be easy for everyone. Perhaps you still feel too emotionally raw, or maybe you feel little to no connection to your child. However you feel is entirely valid. Celebrating birth mother’s day is not a requirement, simply an opportunity.

For those who do want to celebrate, there is ample reason to do so, including:

  • Making the choice to work with adoption agencies to place your baby for adoption can be incredibly difficult. Both emotionally and regarding the mental strain of decision-making. 
  • The completion of your Nevada adoption process also means the end of your many adoption decisions
  • Emotional healing can be a long and difficult journey, and it is important to take time for yourself
  • It is important to recognize how strong and selfless you have been. And, for those in an open adoption, to understand how your choice benefited you and your child.

Why and How We Celebrate and Care for Birth Mothers at Adoption Choices of Nevada 

Birth Mother’s Day may not be as well known as Mother’s Day, but it is no less important. It is a celebration of the birth mothers who put their child’s needs ahead of their own. It shines a light on the challenges birth mothers face during pregnancy and the adoption process as a whole. And it gives birth mothers a chance to know they are not alone, and choosing adoption is not a giving up. It is an act of love and strength.

We at Adoption Choices of Nevada honor birth mothers and everything they do for their children and adoptive families. Adoption is not an easy choice, nor is it an easy path. But it is our goal to help make the process as minimally stressful as possible. If you are unsure of how to put your baby up for adoption, we are here to help. Get in touch with one of our adoption agencies in Reno and speak to an adoption specialist. We will do our best to make sure you are informed and sure of your decisions.