By Kelly Paczkowski

There are so many emotions and feelings that can come up when placing a baby for adoption. Most people do not think about what a birth mother must deal with when deciding what to do with an unplanned pregnancy. The main priority is, of course, your child. However, it can come with mixed emotions. While you can be happy you have found a loving family for your baby, you also cannot help but feel the loss. You are normal for having those feelings. Adoption is a difficult decision that should not be taken lightly. While it is a happy time for people, it can cause birth mother grief. At Adoption Choices of Nevada, we are here to offer all the support you need.

Birth Mother Grief and How to Cope

Most birth mothers who place their child for adoption will feel the effects of birth mother grief for years after the adoption journey. Holidays and birthdays can trigger you, so you may want to prepare yourself for those feelings that may come up.  

You are not alone, and working through those feelings of grief and sadness will be a process. However, there are many things that you can do to help you through.

Talk to an Adoption Specialist or Someone in Your Support Circle

Finding someone you love who will be supportive and that you trust a great way to express any feelings you may have. Friends, family, or even a trusted religious leader can all help you cope with your emotions and allow you to just get it all out. You can also find a therapist to speak with. Therapy has a way of helping people through the grieving process. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking with them, your adoption specialist can help you find a support group. Sometimes just being around other people who have gone through the same thing can make you feel less lonely. Also, sharing with someone that understands can be a relief to you.

Your adoption specialist is also a great person to support you. They work with birth mothers and are attuned to the emotions and process of adoption.  

Find a Hobby Throughout Your Pregnancy

You can do many things to help you process your grief. It is a proven fact that taking care of yourself and having a healthy lifestyle can make you feel good on the inside and has benefits for you on the outside. For example, exercising can be a great stress reliever, and it helps improve your mood.  

• Exercise, try yoga, running, or walking
• Take up crafting, drawing, or painting
• Try writing in a journal or even writing poetry
• Find time for supportive friends and family

Find Time for Things You Love Doing

Another way to battle the feelings of grief and loss is to find time for things that you love to do. Whether that be going shopping with friends or playing video games. Suppose it is something you enjoy doing, then do it. Don’t let your feelings of grief and loss consume you.

Be Kind to Yourself Throughout the Adoption Process

The most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself. You have just gone through giving birth and putting a baby up for adoption. You have every right to feel the emotions that you do. Be forgiving to yourself and allow yourself time to heal. Healing is not going to come right away. Like anything, it takes time to be happy. Do not feel the need to recover quickly and always be okay with good days and bad days. They happen. 

 You have done a brave and selfless act to provide your baby with a bright future. However, you have put their needs before your own, and you need to be gentle with yourself. You will never forget your baby, and no one expects you to, but you can allow yourself to enjoy life. 

We are experienced in helping process an unplanned pregnancy and treat each birth mother with dignity and respect. You deserve to be happy, and by dealing with the emotions that an unplanned pregnancy can bring, in a healthy way, you will be.

Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).