Gestational Carriers: What are the Red Flags?
It’s no secret that when it comes to gestational surrogacy, the real rock stars are the gestational carriers. Not only are they doing the heavy lifting, so to speak, but the extreme kindness they’re performing for a family is, in a word, remarkable.
So, when you’re looking into becoming a gestational carrier, you’re likely to be bombarded with all kinds of information from many different directions. It can be overwhelming at times, especially if you’re a first-time carrier. In your efforts to keep all of this information in mind, you may miss some crucial red flags. To help you in your preparation for becoming a gestational carrier, we here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno have compiled a list of four main red flags for gestational carriers to be on the lookout for.
- An Odd List of Requirements…Or None at All
As we’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, surrogacy agencies should have requirements laid out for anyone who uses their services. If you notice that their requirements are lax, or non-existent, it is time for you to look elsewhere. It can be an indicator that this particular agency is not concerned with ensuring that things are done correctly and well.
These requirements are not in place only for your peace of mind, but for your well-being. From the first conversation with the agency to the matching process, you should have a complete understanding as to what these requirements are and how it will look moving forward. If any requirements seem out of line or don’t make sense, ask the agency to explain them to you.
Requirements for intended parents should also be in place. If you notice that an agency has no conditions in place for potential intended parents, it’s time to look for another agency.
- Dismissal of Questions
If the agency is hesitant to answer any of your questions, you can be certain that it’s a bad beginning to this journey. Remember: there is no such thing as a stupid question when it comes to taking the correct steps and precautions into becoming a gestational carrier.
Examples of questions you can ask your agency are:
- What can I expect the screening process to be like?
- How many successful surrogacies has your agency completed?
- How do you match gestational carriers with intended parents?
- How do you handle a match that doesn’t go well?
Obviously, there are many more questions that you’ll want to ask your agency. They should answer each one with ease and confidence.
Let’s say that you’ve spoken with the staff at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno. Your questions have been answered, and your concerns have been addressed. You’re feeling confident in your choice to work with us. Now, it’s time for you to be matched with an intended family. You’ll have many questions for them as well! After all, you’ll be in close contact with them for the next nine plus months. So, you’ll want to make sure that you get along with them. If they are flippant or unwilling to answer questions of yours, that’s a definite red flag.
- Discouraged Contact With Previous Carriers
Whether you’re a first-time gestational carrier or it’s something you’ve done before, you can find comfort in talking with fellow gestational carriers. Those who have experience under their belt. No one quite understands the adventure like someone who has walked in your shoes before. Some agencies even offer support groups for their gestational carriers!
So, if your surrogacy agency impedes any contact with their previous gestational carriers, you can take that as a sign that things aren’t on the up-and-up.
- Trust your gut
Sometimes, things just don’t feel right. It’s something we’ve all experienced in one way or another. Your gut tells you that things aren’t adding up. That you need to steer clear of a situation, person or place. Sure, this can be a simple case of overthinking, or perhaps some anxiety of a new situation flaring up.
When this happens for you, the gestational carrier, you can always ask the questions you have in your arsenal. When your agency or the intended parents answers your queries, what does your gut tell you? Does the foreboding feeling go away? Or is it still there?
You’re the only expert on yourself. If you don’t trust a situation, regardless of what it is, you’ll only be putting yourself under stress if you follow through with it. So, if your intuition is tapping you on the shoulder while talking with an agency or with an intended parent, it may be time to take a step back and assess.
Red Flags for Gestational Carriers
Remember, as a gestational carrier, you are the hero of the story. Treat yourself as such! Make sure that when you’re working with an agency, your needs are being met. It’s their job to take every step to ensuring all goes well. When you’re speaking with an intended family, make sure that they’re someone you’ll want to be working closely with.
Of course, there are more than these four examples to be on the lookout for. If you have any questions about what else you should be wary of, don’t hesitate to give us a call! We here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno are always glad to ease any tension you may have.
Be well, friends!
CNN.com: “The Top 10 Questions About Surrogacy for Same-Sex couples, Answered”
Washingtonian.com: “How to Pick a Surrogacy Agency”
VirginiaFrank.com: “Red Flags in Surrogacy”