How Intended Fathers can Show Support during the Gestational Journey
As the world returns slowly to normal, or, more aptly, settles into the new normal, the entire gestational journey can feel even more stressful than usual to intended parents. It seems like there’s more waiting than actual progress on your end at times. As the intended father for your child, you want to do everything you can to ease your partner’s tension while you wait.
Here’s how intended fathers can show support during the gestational surrogacy:
Be a Shoulder
Let’s face it. With gestational surrogacy comes a certain amount of anxiety and apprehension. This is especially true for intended parents. While you will be raising the little one you’re waiting so patiently for, you aren’t there for the pregnancy itself…not 24/7, anyway. For some intended mothers, this can simply be too much to bear at times. The knowledge that they aren’t able to carry their child is a lot to handle, even on the best of days. During the journey of gestational surrogacy, some days will be more difficult than others.
For the hard days, it is your job, as the intended father and partner or spouse, to be a continuous source of support and encouragement. Be present. Let them vent to you about their frustrations and concerns. Offer your shoulder. Your listening heart. These little acts can make all the different and let them know you’re there for them. If they’ve had a rough day, have a glass of wine waiting for them when they get home. If they’re feeling stressed, you can offer to clean up after dinner. Sweeten the deal with a back or foot massage.
This is a great way to distract yourselves while you’re patiently impatient. However you and your partner or spouse do date nights, you cannot deny that these are a staple in every relationship for a reason. Not only do date nights enhance your friendship (and therefore your communication), but they also can enhance your ability to work as a team. When you’re planning on becoming a parent, there is nothing more important than having a true partner or spouse.
With COVID-19 still ruling the state of the world, and tensions running higher and higher, it may be harder to go on dates in the same fashion you did before. That said, you’ll probably have to get creative. Instead of going to a movie, you may look into streaming a movie at home. Looking to add dinner to your evening? Find a recipe that the two of you want to try and cook it together. Or, even better, offer to cook the meal for the two of you. It will give your partner or spouse some time to relax, and you’ll feel great being able to do something nice for them!
Show Support during the Gestational Journey
When it comes down to it, you know your partner or spouse better than anyone. You know what will help ease their stress and what will cause it to swell. Sometimes, thinking ahead to help improve their day just a smidge can make their day hundreds of times better.
The best thing, though, that you can do for your partner or spouse? Let her know that her frustrations, concerns and overall stress is not something that she alone is feeling. After all, you’ll be having your own reactions and concerns during this journey as well.
A Message for Intended Mothers
Do keep in mind, mothers, that where you are experiencing some unease, your partner or spouse likely is too. On the days where you may be experiencing some heartache over not carrying this pregnancy, look to your partner or spouse. Chances are, he’s having a rough time of it as well. He’s missing out on experiencing pregnancy with you as your baby grows inside you. That’s not an easy thing to handle. On the days that you’re feeling overwhelmed? He feels it, too. You are in this together.
Remember: the best thing that you can do for one another is be present. Show support during the gestational journey.
Was there anything in this blog that you would like to have seen mentioned? Anything that could have used more explanation? Let us know in the comments! If you think you’d like to begin your own gestational journey, feel free to get in contact with us. We’re always happy to help in any way we can!
Be well and stay safe, friends!
Meet the Author: Mallorey English is an aspiring proofreader and editor. She’s completed a couple of online courses through Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA) and has used her education to help edit her mother’s inspirational book, Monday Motivation: 52 Weeks of Inspiration to Keep Moving in 2018 and running blog Life Up and Running. She hopes to one day become a full time freelance editor. As a Surrogacy Intern with Adoption Choices, Mallorey looks forward to learning more about how surrogacy affects intended parents and gestational carriers.
When she isn’t working, Mallorey can be found on a yoga mat, crafting a new project, or watching her favorite movies. She currently resides in northern Nevada with her husband and hopes to add on to their family in the near future.
Psychology Today: “Date Night: Not a Luxury, a Necessity”
Better Health Channel: “Relationships and Communication”