Life teaches us about so many things. During adolescence, we learn skills and traits that prepare us for adulthood. After we reach adulthood and become parents ourselves, we begin to understand what lessons are invaluable. Whether you’re a natural parent or adoptive one, chances are you’ve learned things that you look forward to teaching your children. The lessons that adoption teaches you go beyond basic parenting skills. They teach you about yourself and a greater type of love than you even imagined.
Commonalities during the Adoption Process
Are you the type of person who loves planning your day out? Or do you prefer “winging it” and seeing where the day takes you? The adoption process must be planned and discussed in-detail because it is sensitive and involves certain legalities. Adoption Choices of Nevada can help your family choose the type of adoption that your are most comfortable with, giving you the opportunity to have a relationship with the birth family as much or as little as you want. The most common types of adoption are open, semi-open and closed.
If you’re interested in hearing more about the types of adoption we specialize in, please visit our website for more information.
Lessons that Adoption Teaches You
At the beginning of the adoption process, you might speak with people from different agencies, so it’s important to be yourself. You may be tempted to only talk about the positives in your life, but remembering to be transparent throughout the process will help you feel less nervous and the adoption professionals will appreciate your honesty.
The lessons that adoption teaches you go beyond learning how to be a nuclear family. Sometimes, adoptive parents experience anxiety or fear wondering whether things will work out or not. In order to help you cope with those thoughts and feelings, you can establish connections and relationships with people that you trust and who are supportive of you and your needs during the process. You can also reach out to the agency for support. Being an adoptive parent (or parent in general) helps teach you to trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, you’ll feel it inside of yourself and learn to trust those instincts.
What if Things go Wrong or Fall Through?
Sometimes life happens. If things change or don’t work out during the adoption process, it’s okay to allow yourself to grieve. Once you’ve given yourself some time to heal, don’t lose hope. It’s easy to give up after you feel defeated, but with the help of the adoption agency and your established support system, things will work out and you’ll find happiness again. When you’re ready to continue on with the adoption process, you’ll realize that this is less about you and more about your child. Other adoptive parents have said that sometimes after they bring their child home, they find themselves oversharing information about their own past just to help their child feel included and wanted.
Adoption teaches us how to be flexible and make changes that accommodate the entire family. At times, adopting a child can mean altering your entire routine. Given that, some parents have reported feeling anxious or fearful about how they will discipline their child. That same fear can also contribute to parents feeling like they’ll always be second best in their child’s eyes because they’re not the birth parents. We can use those feelings as a teachable moment to remind ourselves that adopted children want to be happy, and more importantly, they want to be treated like everyone else.
Every Ending has a New Beginning
Once your child is home with you, you’ll look back on the adoption process and think about all of the things you went through for this great love. Maybe you’ll even find that some of those restless nights and worry don’t matter now. Chances are you’ll feel thankful for the experience that taught you these lessons, as well as the people who made it all possible. Then, you’ll feel grateful for the love that you get to give because you wanted to and because you could.
Adoption Choices of Nevada
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Desiree (Desi) Pohl is eager to start her career in writing! A Colorado native and adoptee herself, she lives, works and goes to school online from home. Desi received her BA in Communications in December of 2018 from Grand Canyon University and is currently a full-time online graduate student working towards her MA in English.
The majority of her writing thus far has centered around research papers for school; though, at one point, she created and managed a blog called “PTSD Me” that allowed her to share her personal experiences with others. She enjoys writing short stories and articles focused on women and family issues, mental and physical health, and wellness. Desi has said that it’s important for her writing to reach readers on a personal level, and she loves sharing her own story in hopes it will make a difference to others!
She aspires to become a writer or editor first and foremost when she’s finished with school. When she’s not writing articles or working on homework, Desi enjoys spending time with her husband and three dogs. Being in Colorado, they are a family who loves the outdoors. She’s been a swimmer most of her life and is currently training for her first open-water marathon swim next year at Lake Tahoe!
“Adoption Success Story – Lessons Learned: Keeping Hope and Making an Honest Connection.” Adoptimist.com, https://www.adoptimist.com/adoption-success-stories/lessons-learned-keeping-hope-and-making-an-honest-connection.
Fries, Micah. “Adoption: The Good and Hard Lessons.” ERLC, 16 June 2017, https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/adoption-the-good-and-hard-lessons.
“The Unexpected Life Lessons We Learned Through Adoption.” Better Than Blended, 8 Nov. 2017, https://betterthanblended.com/the-unexpected-life-lessons-we-learned-through-adoption/.