Adoptions have been occurring since ancient times. The Roman Empire, for instance, used to use adoption as a way to ensure male heirs. Hadrian and Marcus Aurelius were two such heirs, who went on to become very famous Roman emperors. Years later, the Catholic Church encouraged adoption to provide homes for children who have been orphaned or abandoned. Then, in 1851, Massachusetts passed the United State’s first ever adoption law.
Why then, with such a long and rich history on the subject, do adoption myths still exist? Why does fear and rumors continue to run rampant through the realm of adoption? It’s time that this stopped. Adoption Choices of Nevada is here to help debunk the top six misunderstandings about adoption.
6. You have to be Rich to Adopt
Fact: Nope. One of the biggest misunderstandings about adoption is that it will cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars, and all upfront. But this isn’t the case. Depending on where you live and what adoption agency you go through, the cost of adoption can vary greatly; but, overall, it is very affordable. In fact, adoption is possible for all income levels. There are many resources available to help with this, including grants and the Adoption Tax Credit.
5. Open Adoption is Confusing for the Child
Fact: Not true. When it comes to choosing an adoption plan, there are three options to pick from: closed, semi-open and open. All three have their own pros and cons, but research shows that open adoption is the most beneficial choice. Not only does it keep the adopted child’s best interests at heart, but it also allows the child, adoptive parents and birth parents to establish a lifelong relationship. This, in turn, gives the adopted child the opportunity to ask questions, learn about their adoption story, and develop a strong sense of identity.
4. Adoptive Parents aren’t “Real” Parents
Fact: Misleading. If you look carefully, this statement is flawed through the choice of one word: real. By definition, real refers to something that is “actually existing.” Something that is “not imagined or supposed.” Along this line of thought, then, adoptive parents are very real parents. What this misunderstanding about adoption means to assume is that adoptive parents are not the child’s biological parents.
3. Birth Mothers don’t Want their Children
Fact: Inaccurate. Placing a baby for adoption is a selfless act, and isn’t something that birth mothers take lightly. There are countless reasons why birth mothers choose to make a plan for adoption for their children, but not wanting them couldn’t be farther from the truth. Birth mothers love their children. This love leads them to choose adoption because they want to give their babies their best chance at life.
2. You cannot Love a Child who isn’t Biologically Yours
Fact: False. Another way this myth has been construed is, “loving a child who isn’t biologically yours isn’t the same.” If you talk to adoptive parents, though, you’ll find that it’s quite the opposite. Most, if not all, will say that there is no difference. This extends to adoptive parents both with biological children and those without.
1. The Birth Parents will Steal their Children Back
Fact: Not possible. This is perhaps one of the greatest misunderstandings about adoption. It causes an alarming amount of fear in prospective parents. Birth parents cannot steal their children back post adoption. It’s absolutely impossible, for one. They’ve willingly choose adoption and selected you as the adoptive parents, for another. Before birth parents began the process, they have thought long and hard about the result of their actions. They have come to terms with the choice that making a plan for adoption is in their child’s best interest. That said, they aren’t going to suddenly change their minds and steal him or her away in the night. Besides, once the birth parents relinquish their parental rights, you gain full legal custody. So, were they to attempt anything, it would be considered kidnapping. But, through the benefit of open adoption, the legal system and the birth parents’ selfless choice to give their child his or her best chance, you don’t need to worry about anything bad happening.
Misunderstandings about Adoption
Misconceptions, myths and misunderstandings about adoption do nothing but harm the industry. Damage the chances of a child finding a loving and caring home. Adoption is an incredible blessing. It impacts the lives of the birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adoptee in a positive and beautiful way. We need to make sure that we spread the truth about adoption, so that parents and children alike can live their best lives.
Adoption Choices of Nevada
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Rachel Robertson is a published journalist, book editor, certified Publishing Specialist, and aspiring novelist. She graduated from Central Washington University (CWU) in March 2011, having found her writing voice within the Creative Nonfiction genre and grew to work as a freelance book editor for small presses all across the United States.
In June 2018, she embarked on an internship with Virginia Frank and came on board with Adoption Choices Inc., Not for Profit 501(c)(3), in December 2018. Between her mutual passion with adoption and surrogacy, and her own personal history with adoption, Rachel is excited to research and share topics each week that will spread awareness and better serve the faithful patrons of Adoption Choices Inc.
When Rachel isn’t haunting her local Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, she’s avidly pouring over her Writer’s Digest subscription or cozying up with a cup of tea and book. She currently resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her beloved wife and Border Collie.
Aurora. “8 Misconceptions About Adoption That May Be Keeping You From Taking the Leap.” A Family For Every Child, 17 July 2019, www.afamilyforeverychild.org/8-misconceptions-about-adoption-that-may-be-keeping-you-from-taking-the-leap/.
Donvito, Tina. “16 Myths About Adoption You Need to Stop Believing.” Reader’s Digest, www.rd.com/advice/parenting/myths-about-adoption/.
Motley, Isolde, and Susan Caughman. “Adoption Facts: Dispelling the Top 10 Myths.” Adoptive Families, 3 Nov. 2017, www.adoptivefamilies.com/how-to-adopt/myths-about-adoption/.
“Myths about Adoption.” How To Adopt, www.howtoadopt.org/is-adoption-for-me/get-educated/myths-about-adoption/.