Adoption involves three major people groups: the birth parents, the adoptive parents and the adoptee. This triangle of love has become known as the symbol of adoption. The adoption triad. All three are shrouded in myth and stereotypes, including the adoption process itself. We have thus far explored myths about adoption and birth mothers. Now it’s time to discuss and debunk the known myths about adoptive parents.
Adoption Choices of Nevada understands the complexity of the adoption process, and the emotional aspects for all parties. Intermingling that with rumors and stereotypes doesn’t help. We believe that the more we can unpack myths related to adoption, the more informed our clientele will be and the more positive their overall experience.
Myth #1: Adoptive Parents don’t Love their Adopted Children the same as their Biological Children
Fact: Untrue. If you were to ask adoptive parents themselves, you will find the exact opposite. Adoptive parents will vouch that there is no difference to them. That they are able to love their adopted child just as much as their biological children.
Why? Because there is no distinction between adopted or biological. Their son or daughter is just that. Their son or daughter. Their child. Not giving birth to him or her doesn’t matter. It’s a moot point. Believing anything less is a gross myth about adoptive parents.
Myth #2: Adoptive Parents Assume the Birth Parents don’t Love their Children
Fact: This is not the case. As we have recently explored, birth mothers are incredible, selfless women. In fact, they are among the most loving and compassionate women you’ll ever meet. We cannot stress this enough.
Birth parents love their children more than we could ever understand. After all, making a plan of adoption and enduring pregnancy takes an enormous amount of courage and willpower. Not to mention, love. From beginning to end, birth mothers do everything they can to make sure their baby is taken care of. Her ultimate expression of love is putting the needs of her baby above her own.
Myth #3: Adoptive Parents must be Married to Adopt
Fact: Nope. This is an unfortunate myth about adoptive parents. Adoption is not just for married couples. Single parents can also adopt. Both men and women.
Adoption Choices of Nevada does not discriminate in regards to gender, race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. As long as you meet the state requirements and can prove that you are eligible to adopt, you can fulfill your dreams of parenthood.
Myth #4: Adoptive Parents Believe Adopted Children are more Prone to Emotional Issues than their Biological Children
Fact: False. Each and every child is unique. They have their own set of needs, wants and desires. This includes their mental health history. Just because your child’s birth mother developed depression, anxiety or another mental health issues does not mean that your son or daughter will.
Now, in the first few weeks following adoption finalization, they may need more emotional support when adjusting to their surroundings and new life, but that’s to be expected. If later in life, your son or daughter does happen to contract a part of their birth parents’ mental health history, it’s still not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with them. Besides, there are many options available to help them learn healthy coping skills. The two aspects that they will benefit the most from, of course, is counseling and good parenting.
Myth #5: Adoptive Parents who Adopt are Rich
Fact: Umm, no. As we’ve explored before, adoption is affordable to all income levels. You don’t have to be a millionaire to grow your family through adoption. In fact, financial assistance options available for adoptive families who are unable to afford their adoption. There are grants, and other resources such as employer benefits.
If you are considering adoption, remember to learn all that you can about the financial requirements and crafting your adoption budget. But you definitely don’t need to be rich to adopt.
Bonus Myth: Adoptive Parents can’t be Parents Biologically
Fact: Not quite. While infertility and other pregnancy issues exist, they are not the sole reason that adoptive parents choose to adopt. Take single parents for example. Some may choose to utilize an egg or sperm back to help create a family, while others may feel that adoption is the right path for them. This can also apply to prospective adoptive parents if they are married or LGBT as well.
Many people in today’s world realize that there are countless children who need loving homes. So, instead of creating their family through biological methods, they choose adoption. They acknowledge and understand that there is more to family than DNA.
Myths about Adoptive Parents
Adoptive parents should never feel ashamed or judged by their decision to adopt. For, deciding to embark on an adoption journey can be incredibly overwhelming and amazing at the same time. Adoptive parents need to feel loved and supported every step of the way. So instead of speculating and those morph into myths and fallacies, we should learn accurate information and spread the truth about adoption, birth mothers and adoptive parents.
You know what they say about assuming, right?
Adoption Choices of Nevada
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Rachel Robertson is a published journalist, book editor, certified Publishing Specialist, and aspiring novelist. She graduated from Central Washington University (CWU) in March 2011, having found her writing voice within the Creative Nonfiction genre and grew to work as a freelance book editor for small presses all across the United States.
In June 2018, she embarked on an internship with Virginia Frank and came on board with Adoption Choices Inc., Not for Profit 501(c)(3), in December 2018. Between her mutual passion with adoption and surrogacy, and her own personal history with adoption, Rachel is excited to research and share topics each week that will spread awareness and better serve the faithful patrons of Adoption Choices Inc.
When Rachel isn’t haunting her local Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, she’s avidly pouring over her Writer’s Digest subscription or cozying up with a cup of tea and book. She currently resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her beloved wife and Border Collie.
“8 Myths about Adoptive Parents.” Toot Sweet 4 Two, 14 Aug. 2016, tootsweet4two.com/8-myths-adoptive-parents/.
Strom, Rachel. “Part 2: Myths about Adoptive Moms.” Adoption Choices of New York, 23 Aug. 2019, www.adoptionchoicesofnewyork.org/part-2-myths-about-adoptive-moms/.