Reasons Why Some Birth Mothers Choose Closed Adoption
When facing an unplanned pregnancy, there are no easy paths to take. Even when you decide to pursue adoption, there are still many choices you will have to carefully make along the way. One of the most important decisions you will make in your adoption journey is whether to pursue an open, semi-open, or closed adoption.
While closed adoption is the least common type of adoption today, it is still a viable option for you. Adoption Choices of Nevada wants you to know that it is not a choice you should feel guilty about making, since there are very good reasons why some birth mothers choose closed adoption. Some of these reasons are listed here to help you decide if closed adoption is right for you.
- Closed Adoption may Provide Closure
Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is overwhelming and may even be traumatic for some women. Even though adoption can bring relief to a birth mother who is not ready to be a parent, it can still be a stressful process that often involves grieving. After going through such an emotional experience, a birth mother may just want to compartmentalize it as a chapter in her life she wants to close for good. Closed adoption can offer this for some birth mothers as it allows them to move on to a new beginning.
- Closed Adoption may be Less Painful
Letting go of a child under any circumstances is a difficult burden to bear for any mother. Watching someone else raise your baby from a distance may exacerbate the pain you already feel, to the point of outweighing any joy when seeing or hearing from your birth child. For some women, receiving regular updates about their birth child may serve as painful reminders of their loss, thus preventing them from moving on with their lives. In a closed adoption, neither the birth mother nor the adoptive family will be able to contact each other, which may give the birth mother the space she needs to heal.
- The Birth Mother may be an Assault Survivor
One reason why a woman might opt for closed adoption is if she became pregnant from being sexually assaulted. Receiving updates and pictures from the adoptive family of the child might trigger disturbing memories that she would rather leave behind. By choosing closed adoption, she might not be reminded of her past trauma as frequently, which can be helpful as she navigates the healing process.
- Closed Adoption Ensures Privacy
Some birth mothers may simply find comfort in knowing that the circumstances of their pregnancy and adoption will be kept private. On the other hand, a woman might choose adoption because she has an abusive partner or relatives. She could also be living under other unsafe conditions. In this case, closed adoption may serve the best interests of the child so that he or she will not be exposed to individuals or environments that can compromise their safety.
- A Birth Mother may not Want to Interfere with the Adoptive Family’s Life
There are so many different ways you can envision your role as a birth mother after you have placed your birth child with the adoptive family. Some birth mothers may see themselves taking on an active role in the child’s life, while others want the adoptive parents to be the only parental figures in the child’s life. Women who prefer the latter may be more inclined to choose closed adoption since they don’t want to interfere with the adoptive parents’ parenting in any way. Additionally, a birth mother might not want to risk the child confusing her role as a birth mother with that of a legal parent.
- Closed Adoption Requires no Responsibilities from the Birth Mother
Maintaining a connection with an adoptive family post placement can be a source of stress for some birth mothers for different reasons. Frequent contact with the adoptive family may cause painful feelings to stir, or the birth mother may have too much going on to play an active role in the child’s life. Under a closed adoption, the birth mother is relieved from these and other potential stressors, and she can focus more on getting back on her feet.
Are You Open to Considering Closed Adoption?
Through learning about these and other reasons why some birth mothers choose closed adoption, you can examine your own reasons for pursuing your adoption journey. In fact, it’s important that you frequently reexamine your choices as a birth mother as you navigate the adoption process so that you can look back on your adoption journey with no regrets. If you think closed adoption might be the right path for you and your baby, don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Choices of Nevada to get started on your adoption journey.
Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can also call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno) | 775-738-4673 (Elko) | 775-884-4673 (Carson City).
Meet the Author: Mary DeStefano is an Ohio native currently living in northern Virginia and works in the litigation consulting industry where she has experience in antitrust, product liability, and mass torts matters. She holds a B.A. in Economics (‘15) and an M.A. in Applied Economics (‘16) from the University of Cincinnati.
Mary is passionate about empowering and supporting those involved in the adoption and surrogacy processes. She finds great meaning in wielding the written word to develop impactful narratives and to help people stay informed. In her spare time, Mary can be found beachcombing and going on other adventures with her dog along the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. She also has an affinity for antiquing and loves a good 80’s movie marathon.