Red Flags in Gestational Surrogacy
So, you have decided to become a gestational surrogate. You’ve even gotten as far as meeting with some potential intended parents. While sitting there in the middle of an interview, you start to feel a gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach. Something about this meeting does not seem right. Alarm bells go off in your mind and you realize that they are beginning to raise red flags. Some of the points the intended parents are making do not align with your expectations of the gestational journey.
As a gestational carrier, remember to keep an eye out for anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You want to make sure that you are fee appreciated, valued and respected before making any type of arrangement. While you know you will not end up choosing this particular pair of intended parents, still stay alert for any and all red flags that arise. This way, you can discuss them with your caseworker after the meeting and they will help you find a more suitable match.
We at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Las Vegas care about you and want to make sure you can identify any red flags that come your way. Here are some things to keep an eye out for.
Red Flags in Gestational Surrogacy
Unwillingness to Answer Questions
When meeting the intended parents, one of the most essential things you need to do is ask questions. You’ll want to ensure that the flow of communication is clear between both parties. Asking questions can help you determine whether or not the intended parents you are meeting with are the best match for you. You need to feel comfortable with the decision you are making. As a gestational carrier, you have the right to be well informed before entering any kind of agreement. If you feel that the intended parents are becoming evasive, rushing through your questions or dismissing them all together, these are huge red flags. There is no shame or judgment if you decide to say that it won’t work out.
You and the intended parents must get along well. The last thing you want is to be paired with a couple or individual who clashes with your personality and causes unwanted tension. Not everyone will get along, but you have to make sure you can respect each other’s decisions. Pregnancy is stressful enough. Imagine having to go through it with the wrong intended parents. When looking for the right match, be sure that your goals for the gestational journey align with theirs.
Does not Respect Your Space
Ultimately, you have to feel confident. Even if the conversation is going well but your gut is sending your warning signals, you can always move on. This is not an easy decision to make and you should be allowed time to think. It is a major red flag if the intended parents do not respect your space and pressure you into making a decision quickly.
Everyone has responsibilities and bills to pay. But gestational surrogacy is much more than a financial resource. Your health, and the health of the baby you will be carrying, are the top priorities. You want to make sure that the intended parents you choose understand this as well. You cannot have anyone treating you like a human incubator. Your voice, concerns and mental wellbeing should be taken into consideration. Parents who understand this will give you all the support and care you need to make the gestational journey move as smoothly as possible. However, if this is not the case, and they make it apparent that you are nothing more than a means to carry their child, you need to move on.
You are not being paranoid if you suddenly feel uneasy about something the intended parents have said or done.
Here are other things that could pose as potential red flags in gestational surrogacy:
- You realize the potential parents are being dishonest.
- There is a loss of communication or things have been left unclear.
- They are unwelcoming or unfriendly.
- They have no online presence.
- They seem to be uninterested in you or they are rushing you through your questions.
Remember, always trust your instincts and make sure that the potential match that you choose is the best one for you.
Note for Gestational Carriers
Gestational surrogacy is no easy feat. To help others, you are willing to put your body through a significant amount of stress. You want to make sure your needs and concerns are being addressed. Do your research and listen to your instincts. You, above anyone, knows what is best for you. Be sure to voice your apprehensions should suspicion arise, and do not walk into any situation you do not feel one hundred percent confident about.
Stay positive and take care of yourself!
Adoption Choices of Nevada in has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. For information specific to Las Vegas, please visit our sister site Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Las Vegas. For information specific to Reno, please visit our sister site Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno. You can also call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: CALL OR TEXT 702-474-4673
Melissa N. Martínez is exceptionally hard-working, creative, and passionate about her writing. From a very young age, she found the writing gave her the voice that she needed. Currently, she is working on writing a fantasy novel which she wished to publish someday. She hopes to one day share her writing with others and create worlds that can comfort them in their time of need.
When she is not curled up with a good book you can find her spending time playing with her dog Zelda, watching television, or baking. She has recently moved from the island of Puerto Rico to Minnesota with her husband and dog.