Adoption in Reno, BM Blog

By Adoption Choices of Nevada

The Underestimated Challenges of Birth Mother Grief: What it is and How to Overcome It

By Joe Salemme

An unexpected pregnancy can rattle even the most carefree individuals. We know there are already so many stressors in your life right now. However, there is one that you may not even be considering right now: birth mother grief. You will, of course, have an extremely strong bond with your baby once they are born. This means that giving them up for adoption can be a difficult task, even if you have already done it. Birth mother grief is a very real and serious factor to consider when giving your baby up for adoption.

Tackling your grief can be a very daunting task. It is important to make sure you are utilizing your resources when dealing with this unique grieving process. Adoption Choices of Nevada is dedicated to helping you overcome your grief and supporting you throughout the entire adoption process.

What Exactly is Birth Mother Grief?

Grief is, in its most basic sense, the response to loss. We usually associate it with death, which is why birth mother grief can be so unique. You will love your baby when they are born. That is not something you should fear or try to stop! It is natural and good to feel this way. But this means giving your baby up for adoption can be difficult, and you may experience grief for losing your baby. While your baby is not “gone,” they will be absent from in your life. You may miss their presence and become upset that you are not there for them as their mother.

Birth mother grief is hard to define because it is different for each person. It can occur at any time, especially when you are going through the process of adoption in Nevada. You may think it can only occur once you have given birth, but that is not always the case. Some birth mothers experience grief during the pregnancy and sometimes even long after giving birth.

The psychological effects of birth mother grief vary from mother to mother. They may follow a path similar to that of the five stages of grief, but not always. There are usually two main emotions associated with birth mother grief: guilt and humiliation. You may feel guilty for not being able to be your baby’s parent. You might even feel guilty for getting pregnant in the first place. Along with this guilt can be feelings of humiliation. You may be humiliated that you are not able to take care of your baby.

Learning about the grief that you may experience during the Reno adoption process can be scary, but it is necessary. Having a better sense of birth mother grief will allow you to identify it and treat it appropriately.

I’m Afraid I’m Experiencing Birth Mother Grief! How Do I Treat it?

Once you acknowledge and identify your guilt, you can start taking measures to conquer it. If you are experiencing grief during your pregnancy, having an adoption plan you are comfortable with will do wonders. Having a good plan will ensure that you have found a loving family for your baby. This can help with your sense of guilt in particular.

But what about after you have given birth? It is usually best for you to let out your negative feelings and emotions regarding losing your baby. This means that surrounding yourself with positive people that you can express your feelings is extremely important. Make sure you stay in touch with close friends and even your therapist if you feel you need one.

It is important to be prepared for birth mother grief at any point, even if it occurs well into your future. If you are up for it, perhaps maintaining a relationship with your child after the adoption process can help. This is one of the benefits of open adoption, as you can stay in touch with the family. However, developing a relationship with your baby in the future will affect mothers in different ways. You will have to decide if this is the right decision for you.

Another way to deal with birth mother grief is a rather simple one: take care of yourself! Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy, drinking water, and enjoying your hobbies. It can be easy for grief to take over you, but if you use the resources at your disposal, you can overcome it!

How Adoption Choices of Nevada Helps You Through Your Grief

When considering adoption in Nevada, you want to make sure you are being treated with just as much care as your baby. At Adoption Choices of Nevada, we are dedicated to helping our birth mothers, not just their babies. We have a birth parent support group open to all of our birth mothers that meet very often. During the meetings, you will be able to interact with other birth parents who made an adoption plan in the past. You will be able to talk about your grief with someone who has already gone through the grieving process. The diversity in the support group means that they can accommodate one of the many different symptoms you may have.

If you are uncomfortable with dealing with birth mother grief in a group setting, don’t fret! It is perfectly normal not to want to share these feelings with a bigger group; everyone deals with grief differently. We also have a personal birth parent counselor at your disposal. These counselors offer a more personal connection, as it will be a one-on-one meeting. She will not only be there for general pregnancy adoption help but will also be there for you during your postpartum recovery.

Birth mother grief is a very complicated and intimidating form of grief. If not treated properly, it can end up affecting your life in many ways. But know that you are not alone in your grief. There are numerous resources for you and people who are there for you and want to see you succeed. At the very least, know that you will do/have done an incredible deed that requires a tremendous amount of strength. You should feel extremely proud of yourself for that alone.

Adoption Choices of Nevada has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: 855-940-4673 (Toll-Free) | 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas) | 775-825-4673 (Reno)