The holidays are here! It’s time to break out the turkey and sing along to Christmas music on the radio. To dress the house with decorations – both inside and out. To ask the age-old question: Should we get a fake tree or real tree this year? There is such a burst of joy and excitement during the holiday season! Don’t you agree?
Yet, things are different this time around. For every laughing child or niece and nephew you see, you’re plagued with the reminder of what you’re missing. That painful hole in your heart that you long to be filled with a child of your own. Your adoption journey is well underway, but you’re having to enter another holiday season – childless.
Adoption Choices of Nevada is here for you. We understand the stress and agony of the waiting period, and the dread that comes with having days go by without any change. Know that these feelings are natural and ok to have. Particularly during the holiday season. If you find yourself struggling and wanting to hide away from family gatherings, here are four tips to help you survive the holidays.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Self-care. It’s something that’s all too often ignored or dismissed. But taking care of yourself is extremely important. Even more so when you’re playing the waiting game for adoption, and the holiday season is fast approaching. One of the best tips to help you survive the holidays is through making sure that you remain physically, emotionally and mentally healthy.
Take a hot bubble bath. Go for a walk. Treat yourself to a nice meal out or a relaxing afternoon at home. See a movie. Get together with friends who you haven’t seen in a while. Whatever brings you joy and makes you feel refreshed – do that! It will do wonders for both your mood and overall outlook on life. We all need to take a break and regroup every now and then, so don’t feel that you are any different. Your health and well-being matters.
3. Talk to Someone
If you are experiencing sadness, loneliness or depression, don’t keep it inside. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Call them, schedule a coffee date or talk via video chat. Write in your journal. Be honest about how you are feeling, and let everything out. Find a counselor who can help you develop healthy coping skills.
Talking can be very powerful. Sometimes that’s all you need to re-energize yourself and set your perspective back on brighter things. To remind yourself of the bigger picture, instead of staying swamped in the details. It’s amazing how a listening ear can change everything.
2. Distract Yourself
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are things moving too quickly? Maybe your mind is spinning out of control. The hecticness of the holidays can have this effect. But guess what? It’s ok to distract yourself. To release some of your nervous and anxious energy by throwing yourself into some kind of activity. What this activity is depends on you. It can be anything from washing the dishes or cleaning the house to redecorating the nursery for the tenth time. Too big? That’s ok. Here are some other tips to help you survive the holidays: baking, knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching and drawing. Making lists. Even coloring. There are some amazing adult coloring books available now. You’re never too old to reinvent the landscape and characters of a childhood fairytale or disappear into the smoothing curls of an endless spiral. The opportunities are indeed endless.
The most important part about distracting yourself is giving yourself something to focus on. To take your mind off your worries and concerns for even a short moment. It gives your brain some needed rest, and allows you to feel productive instead of sitting around fretting about the what-ifs.
1. Surround Yourself with Support
Before, during and after the adoption process, you are going to need an extra hand here and there. Whether that’s with meal prep, house cleaning or just having someone in your corner to give you some air, think about the friends and family you know. When things are hard, who do you run to? When something exciting happens, who is the first person you want to tell? Who knows you the best, and has been to hell and back with you?
These are the people you want to surround yourself with and establish into your support system. Your list of emergency help. Those who are ready and willing to drop everything and come to your rescue when you need them. In essence – your lifelines.
Tips to Help You Survive the Holidays
Having to go through another holiday season without your son or daughter is a challenge for any parent. The adoption waiting process is no picnic. But, as hard as it is to see right now, everything will be ok. It will all work out exactly how it’s supposed to.
Just think. Before you know it, January will start a brand new year, and it might just be the year your adoption journey leads you to your baby! So, instead of looking at the upcoming holiday season with dread, think of it as your last hoorah before becoming parents. That, just around the corner, you will hold the baby you long for. He or she will become yours, and you’ll have the family you’ve dreamt of.
Adoption Choices of Nevada
If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of Nevada. You may visit the website here or contact us by 775-825-4673 (Reno Office) or 702-474-4673 (Las Vegas Office). Our hours are Monday through Friday, 9am-5pm PST.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Rachel Robertson is a published journalist, book editor, certified Publishing Specialist, and aspiring novelist. She graduated from Central Washington University (CWU) in March 2011, having found her writing voice within the Creative Nonfiction genre and grew to work as a freelance book editor for small presses all across the United States.
In June 2018, she embarked on an internship with Virginia Frank and came on board with Adoption Choices Inc., Not for Profit 501(c)(3), in December 2018. Between her mutual passion with adoption and surrogacy, and her own personal history with adoption, Rachel is excited to research and share topics each week that will spread awareness and better serve the faithful patrons of Adoption Choices Inc.
When Rachel isn’t haunting her local Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, she’s avidly pouring over her Writer’s Digest subscription or cozying up with a cup of tea and book. She currently resides in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her beloved wife and Border Collie.
“Adopting.” Adopting.com, www.adopting.com/adoption-blog/holiday-survival-tips-for-waiting-adoptive-parents.
Galbraith, Kristy. “Tips For Prospective Adoptive Parents: Holiday Season Wait.” Tips For Prospective Adoptive Parents | Holiday Season Wait, 6 Jan. 2015, afth.org/waiting-holidays/.