Intended mothers go through a lot emotionally, physically, and, for some, financially. They all have one goal in mind, to have their own child. Unfortunately, not all hopeful mothers can experience this naturally. With science and awesome gestational carriers, however, expanding one’s family is still possible.
Intended mother’s may feel left out of the process, though. They have to forgo their plans of giving birth and carrying their baby. That alone can weigh heavily on a mother and can lead to depression. You, the gestational carrier, can lift her spirits by getting her a nice gift. But we are left with one question: What should you give the intended mother?
Getting gifts for your intended mother is a very sweet gesture! She should feel included and like she matters. It is very important that you build a strong bond with the intended mother. Through this, you will come to know what gifts she will appreciate. You will also come to find how best to show your gratitude in helping her grow her family.
What Should You Give the Intended Mother
You can give your intended mother varying gifts. Think about what she might like. Maybe there is something she mentioned a time or three in your conversations together. Perhaps it’s an item she needs right now or something she’s always dreamed of having. If you can’t decide, you can always ask her! In the meantime, here is a list that will get you started!
1) Spa Day
Spa days are a nice and thoughtful gift because, even though she is not carrying the child, she may still have issues to work through. Intended mothers carry guilt and sadness. Some carry anxiety in regards to not carrying their child. A spa day will help her relax and allow her to de-stress before the baby comes.
Whether it is a necklace, ring or pair of earrings, small presents are sentimental. Most women love jewelry, especially when it comes from a very special person. You can never go wrong with this gift!
Making a scrapbook of sonograms is something that would help the intended mother feel involved. This kind of gift has the power to get rid of any resentment or guilt she feels. Including pictures of you and the baby at each month, along with other sentimental and special moments, can help her experience the pregnancy journey with you.
4) Photo shoots
You can set up a maternity shoot and include the intended mother. This can help resolve any feelings she has towards herself, gestational carrier, or even the child. Gestational surrogacy can be hard on the intended mother, so including her in memories, makes it even more magical for her!
5) DIY Scrapbooks
Similar to the sonogram photo album, you can create a scrapbook for when the baby arrives. The empty scrap will allow her to look forward to the milestones she will have with her child, and all the memories she will build as he or she grows. Scrapbooks help her to keep the memories from the surrogacy journey alive. Giving her all the tools to make her version of a perfect scrapbook is a very sentimental gift.
6) Gift for baby
Giving a gift for the baby is a special gesture! You were able to carry her son or daughter, and you will always have a special bond with that child. This shows that you truly care about the intended mother and her baby.
7) Gift cards
Gift cards are also a nice, quick and simple way to say thank you, too! This way she can pick out whatever she wants. Whether it is for her or the baby, this gift screams gratitude and shows how happy you are to help her family grow.
Why You Should Give Intended Mothers Gifts
Intended mothers go through just as much as gestational carriers. They harbor guilt, shame, resentment and anxiety throughout the surrogacy journey. For some, the decision to use a gestational carrier may not have been an easy one. As women, they wish to have those experiences of feeling the baby kick and flutter. They want to experience giving birth and getting to choose whether they will have a water birth at home or deliver in the hospital. When they can’t decide those things, it puts pressure on them and makes them feel inadequate. Getting your intended mother a gift will lift her spirits and help her to overcome her negative emotions, as well as make her feel included in the process. Remember that you play an integral role in the intended mother’s life before and after the birth, and the bond you two share will last a lifetime.
At Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Las Vegas, we promise to ensure the happiness of both intended mothers and gestational carriers. In our eyes, you are both very special and important to the process of expanding families.
If you are reading this blog and still feel uneasy about what you should give the intended mother, reach out to her, your adoption lawyer, or social worker. We will be happy to point you in the right direction.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Las Vegas
Adoption Choices, Inc. is a private, non-profit adoption agency licensed by the state and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive parents since 2002. Our staff has a genuine commitment to providing an empathetic, empowering, and progressive experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Las Vegas. You may visit our website or contact us at 775-474-4673.
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Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
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“Intended Parents.” Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, 14 Mar. 2019, adoptionart.org/assisted-reproduction/intended-parents/.
Intended Parents. (n.d.). Retrieved April 29, 2020, https://www.babystepssurrogacy.com/intended-parents/.